This was my first article which was published February 10, 2005 in the Winnipeg Free Press.
Calling all pathetically desperate, sad, can't find a date so I will always be single and lonely people. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay, that wasn't nice but I'm not laughing at you, I'm crying with you. Yes, all you lovers, Valentine's Day is fast approaching and with it comes all those happy, dappy, sappy cards, along with chocolates, flowers, teddy bears and all the other stuff, so I hear.
Now that we've all survived Christmas and New Years alone, we now have to enter the emotional kicker, Valentine's Day. Yes, this can be the proverbial cupid's arrow that broke the single person's chocolate-filled tin foil heart.
Now's the time when you're driving around by yourself, and you notice every billboard ad and store sign reminding people to get their "special someone" something for Valentine's Day.
This reminds you that you don't have a "special someone." And then you're sitting at home alone watching TV and see one of those like-minded commercials it'll only remind you to get up and get another bowl of ice cream. While you're at it, why not some more cookies and a bag of chips too?
It can be depressing, and with our recent cold snap - when you don't want to leave the house - it can seem like things are never going to look up.
Now, before I get bunch of hate mail, let me say that I know there are many, many "single and loving it" people out there. Much of the time I'm one of those people. It's just at certain times even the most "I'm happy being alone" person can crave companionship.
It would be nice to have another adult around for some company, especially around this time of year.
For those who know me, they're probably saying, "How could you say that? You have two wonderful children." And yes, someday I'll read this on a good day and question why I ever put this into print.
But on most days, when I'm done debating with my eleven year old about why she can't get pierced, dyed or tattooed, and finished explaining to my 4 year old why we don't put toys with batteries in the tub, I would love to sink into my partners arms and have them say "It's okay."
To have someone give you one of those hugs where they hold you close and rub your back until you could almost fall asleep. It's pretty simple, but when you don't have it, it sounds even better than a slice of cheesecake.
So what do I do when I get like this? I guess this is where I'm very lucky. For my Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day blues, as well as my "It's okay" days I have my friends.
Most of them are single moms too, and we can all relate to the "I can't figure out where the hamster is and now there's a strange smell in the heat vent". Okay, it didn't really happen, but you get the point.
These women and I get together on a regular basis. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, and once in a while we tell each our deepest, darkest secrets. Probably the best part is when we give each other reality checks like, "Bonnie he's a stupid head," "yes Debbie, they are," and "Adrienne, no Triple X for you." These women - though the total opposite of me - are my closest friends.
They'll be there to hold my child, hold my hand, hold my drink, and if need be, hold my hair. It doesn't matter if we go out for 'bevies' or we sit around the table having our fifth Timmy's of the day, we mesh as a group.
Yes, sometimes one of us may tell too intimate a detail, or all of them. One friend may analyze too much, and a couple may not be allowed to consume a certain type of drink, but we're all understanding and accepting of each other.
Maybe not at first, but once one of us tells the other to suck it up and get over it, we're good to go.
So I guess what I'm saying this Valentine's Day is make sure you remember the "special someones" in your life. They're the "special someones" who will pick up milk, diapers, Timmy's, us, or our pukey child without batting an eye.
They're the "special someones" that hold your hand when you lose a loved one and feel like you just can't cry anymore. They help you figure out why that call never came and that you're probably better off it didn't anyway. They're our friends, and they're as special as you are going to get.
So, Happy Valentine's Day to my "special someones." I love you guys.